Last Friday’s full moon lunar eclipse taught me an important lesson in my path of personal growth and soul-discovery.
I had been angry all week. And irritable with everyone and everything around me. I could feel the anger building day by day. And I had NO idea why.
I didn’t think there was anything for me to be angry about. My life has been great lately and I’m so grateful for where I am. But damn, was I mad!
Can anyone relate?
In the days leading up to the full moon, we start to feel the moon’s energy pulling on the water within our body, and with this lunar eclipse especially, truly shaking things up down to our very soul.
Often, this manifests as a rise in emotion. And an opening channel to our subconscious.
Whether we feel tired, overwhelmed, anxious, sad, angry, depressed – whatever we feel has really important information for us. It’s our subconscious sending us a message.
If we choose to listen to this message, to dig deep on the full moon when the pathway is lit by the moonlight, to uncover the hidden or suppressed truth, we are honoring our inner wisdom. Honoring our soul’s truth.
So, I knew I had to listen to this anger. To find out what message my subconscious wanted me to hear.
Listening to it means feeling it fully. Allowing it to completely come to the surface. For anger, sometimes the best way to do this is to wait until we’re in the car alone with the windows closed and just let it ALL out.
Usually, I work on aligning my thoughts and my spoken words with the reality I want to create. With the person I am becoming. But when processing an emotion fully, I knew I had to let it all come up, to let it all be said. Uncensored. Even if it sounded cruel, or unfair, or like I was backtracking in my spiritual progress.
Sometimes we just need to let out all the “f you’s” and the “I hate you’s” and the “why me’s” and all the things we don’t want to say out loud. I screamed them and shouted them and cried through them. I FELT the anger coursing through my veins.
I yelled about insignificant things, I yelled about innocent people, I yelled about the people that I was angry at, and finally, I turned to myself.
One of the most profound truths I’ve learned is that any emotion you feel toward someone is a projection of how you feel toward yourself. This doesn’t seem true at first. It’s a very hard truth to learn. But when you really flip the emotion around and dig deep, you will find that it’s true. Every. Single. Time.
After I had let out my anger about everyone and everything around me, I knew it was time to turn within. Out loud, I asked, “Now why am I angry at myself?”
And with the anger and the full moon’s energy swirling around inside of me, instantly, I knew. I had allowed the situations that made me feel angry to happen. I was solely responsible. I had failed at upholding boundaries I had put in place. Or I had been unclear about boundaries I needed. I was putting other people’s feelings above my own and abandoning my truth. Abandoning myself.
And we realize, we’re the only person who should always put ourselves first. No one else will do that for us. Nor should they.
That’s why I was angry. That’s what my subconscious wanted me to know. My soul, my heart, my higher self was angry with me for leaving her behind. She was tired of me always playing the role of the compassionate, always available, shoulder to cry on for everyone but her. For treating her like her feelings didn’t matter as much as everyone else’s. For acting like a martyr at times for suppressing her needs in favor of others’ needs.
But not anymore, she said. This full moon brought that message out loud and clear. I knew it was time to communicate boundaries clearly and to always check in with her, my heart, first. To feel my way through taking care of her, honoring my truth.
This is why I pay attention to the moon’s cycle and her impact on my body. This is why aligning with her energy is so important. She helps us become more of who we are. Not who we want to be, not a better replicate of insert successful do-gooder here. But our soul’s truth.
She helps us shed the layers of who we’re not, in order to better see who we are.